I’ve been thinking of conversations with people in my life about “living while black,” and to be honest, if another person tells me they don’t see me as black… That they don’t see my “color…” That I’m “not like other black people…” Or my favorite (insert eye roll) “you’re only half,” as if I am supposed to just ignore half of my being. Let’s try and pretend the “one drop rule” doesn’t exist. Even though my kids are a quarter black, they’re black. They will always be black, and we choose to teach them to embrace it. So, I just can’t. Not today. Not ever again. I’m doing my best to remain open, love all, and expand myself. But when it comes to this, I will no longer accept or tolerate ignorance. You are not ignorant when you make those comments and dismiss me when I explain how that makes me feel. At that point, you CHOOSE not to see ME.
On a brighter note, I often have shared how accepted and loved I was by my late Dad, Steve, and while most people probably assume my comments of him accepting me for who I am is simply because I am his daughter in law, it’s not – I am referring to him loving me regardless of my skin color. Caring for him in his final weeks of life, I was only reassured of that love and my heart is filled with gratitude to have those moments. Dad was anything but ignorant. Even in his final days, he was learning and growing.
How did I get so lucky to have two amazing Dads? Both so different in looks, but both so full of love for their children and other people’s children – regardless of what they look like. My Dad Steve loved me, for ME. I never for a second doubted that. I’m heartbroken that I have lost such an amazing man, white ally, friend and father who truly accepted me regardless of what I looked like. He saw me… as his beautiful, free-spirited, biracial daughter, but never made me feel any less because of it. Like my blood Daddy, he encouraged me to think I could do great things, that nothing was impossible. Yet, he was aware of my reality and that I would have to work harder than someone with less melanin, that his grandkids would also share that reality. He never tried to act like he understood my feelings on issues of race but always listened attentively, never made me feel like I was overreacting, never dismissed me or my emotions, and always reassured me of the love he had for me and his multiracial grandchildren. He always wanted to learn more, grow more, to know how he could be a voice and how he could make things even just a little better.
This post is more than just a memoir of who my Dad was in this life, but a call to action in hopes that maybe it will inspire you to stand up and speak out, to love others more – like he did. Start within your own families and circles. Commit to learning and growing, being better for yourself, your children, and others.
White friends & family, I beg you, please don’t be color-blind. And if you have been and want to open your eyes, ask questions, read, and put in the work. Mamademics has amazing resources and articles on advocacy and being part of the change. The answers are there if you really want to find them. With the current state of our nation, and the fact that some people are just now coming to grips that racism is still rampant, baffles me. Why? Because a large majority of our nation is color-blind. They might not be out marching with torches or wearing a hood, but they are everywhere. They’re teaching our children in our schools, “serving and protecting” on our forces, and the sad reality, for some – share a family name.
We need help.
“White supremacy never left because you pretend that you’re color-blind in order to absolve yourself…” Danielle, Mamademics
White people hold the ball in their courts, they always have, from the very beginning of our nation. The intent from the beginning was domination and supremacy. We know that justice for all did not include anyone other than the white male. Today, we take the stand and fight for rights and equality, but our nation was built on the backs and blood of people of color.
We want peace. We want to live, we want to be who we are without fear for our lives. You know, sometimes kids are taught that they are not to start a fight, but they sure as hell can finish it. Well, we can try and defend ourselves, but even then it comes with a price – usually our lives. Now what? We definitely didn’t start this fight and we are tired. We defend and fight back daily in our minds (which most of the time is a battle ignored in and of itself), our homes, in the streets with our black and brown brothers and sisters, in our offices, in our paychecks – or lack there of. We can’t end this alone, it’s always been in your hands.
As my family member, friend, reader, acquaintance, fellow human being, I’m asking you this:
Will you be part of the solution to finish this fight once and for all?
I know many of you might be thinking it’s taking on the world and the thought might even overwhelm you (it should cause there is A LOT), perhaps because you think you don’t know those brown and black bodies in the news, and don’t see how this all affects you. Your privilege is showing.
So could you at least muster up enough f*cks to give for me? Still not sure? How about for my kids?
If you can’t answer that with a yes, save me the time of weeding out those who are silent in my networks and hit “unfriend.” Seriously. Open your eyes. Don’t be silent. Teach your kids to love AND teach them about the realities of life for so many other people that don’t look like them. Love is great, it’s a starting point, but action is needed. People of color are not just being broken down, we are being destroyed – one by one – and it started many years ago, and continues in full force today.
“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.
It’s time to wake up.
As a ShiftCon eco-wellness influencer & volunteer, I have been given free admission to ShiftCon 2018. This post contains my affiliate link for event ticket purchases. All opinions are mine. © ShiftCon
I am really excited to share that I will be at ShiftCon in Irvine, CA, February 1 -3, 2018. I know it seems so far away, but I have to tell you how ecstatic I am because I have been dying to go since I first heard about this event in 2015. If you are a social media eco-wellness influencer and/or blogger that wants to be part of the movement of shifting perspectives, then this conference is totally for you!
Shifters prize themselves as being part of something bigger than themselves. We are a community with a mission to change the world. It’s a focus on wellness, green and sustainable products and technology. – ShiftCon
An eco-wellness social influencer’s dream.
It is a conference filled with the community of like-minded people that want to create a more sustainable earth and work with brands that bring value to their lives and their audience’s lives. I’ve been following the event on social media for the last two years, gawking at all of the fun, but also the wealth of knowledge that is shared by the numerous experts in the fields of health, food, wellness, communications, legislation, social media and healing. See past speakers here.
Join us for three days of learning, growing and life-changing experiences! There are two influencer/blogger options when you purchase your tickets. The ELITE track gives you access on Thursday to an additional 9 workshops, totaling 24 workshops! The Influencer/Blogger track gives you access beginning Friday to 15 workshops.
In addition to all of the learning, there will be a lot of fun! There’s an expo hall where over 40 brands will be showcasing their products and services. You’ll go home with 2 swag bags and be fed a reception meal, 2 lunches and 2 breakfasts, plus featured snacks and refreshments!
© ShiftCon © Hotel Irvine
Location, Location, Location.
The event will be held at Hotel Irvine, and the rate is $179 per night. Book early and know that when you reserve your room, a one night’s hotel fee will be charged to your card for reservation. Will I see you at ShiftCon? I hope so! Make sure to say hi! I look forward to learning, growing and shifting with all of you! Get your tickets now!
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If you’re anything like me, you love getting and giving gifts. I also really love shopping and supporting small business. So, I decided to compile a list of some of my favorite Magic Makers that are crafting away and supporting their families! As a work from home mama, I can’t tell you how awesome it is to know that I have support in my endeavors because juggling businesses, blog, kids, marriage, and school can be rough. There are many days when I just want to lay on the floor… But, because of my amazing hubby, kids and tribe of friends that are family, I press on.
Welcome to this month’s Blogorail Black Loop. Today we are sharing gift ideas for Mother’s Day.
With Mother’s Day just around the corner, I was thinking of what I would love to open for the special occasion, and came up with a few of my top magical gifts that would support small businesses run by Mamas, meaning quality products for me and pixie dust pay for a mama-preneur on Mother’s Day. A win for everyone! There are so many awesome women that are movers and shakers, and while I can’t list them all, I am sure that you will find something for the magical mama in your life (or for yourself) amongst this list! Already picked out your gifts to give for Mother’s Day? You know what they say.
Treat. yo. self.
Mama & Little®
Mama & Little® Silicone Jewelry • If I had access to these pretty little pieces when I was toting around my babies, it would have been a lifesaver. I can’t tell you how many broken pieces of jewelry I’ve endured from curious little hands and mouths. The jewelry is food-grade silicon and BPA free. These are perfect gifts for new mamas, aunties, and anyone that holds babies!
Custom Wood Signs & Graphics by EllieJoy Boutique • This little shop on Etsy is owned and operated by Rachel, who also happens to be my cousin! She’s an Air Force Chaplain’s wife, mama to five and graphic designer. We both began design around the same time in the early 2000s. I’m super excited for Rach’s new venture and wanted to share that she does custom work outside of what is listed in Etsy, so check out her work and follow her adventures on Instagram and Facebook, too!
LILLIAN & CO
LILLIAN & CO Bracelets • These are beautiful statements to wear. As a mama who dares to live my dream, these are perfect mantras and reminders on a daily basis to live in our magic and spread it far and wide. With twelve (12) different sayings, you’re sure to find one that is perfect for the Mama in your life. I found this little gem of a company on Instagram one day, and drool over the pieces often. They stack perfect with other bangles and watches! I am hoping that the “Go Live Your Dream” bracelet graces my wrist soon. 🙂
Spireside Candles (formerly Anthology Candles) • Handmade in the USA, these are whimsically inspired candles and wax melts. I fell in love with their product branding and photos on Instagram! Pineapple Whip is on my wish list, along with Main Street Bakery and The Confectionary. I know, I know so much sugar. 🙂
For more Mother’s Day Gift Guides, check out the other great posts from the Blogorail!
Here is the map of our Magical Blogorail Black | Mother’s Day Gift Guides Loop:
I don’t know about you, but we are counting down to December 15, 2017. Disney has just released the official teaser trailer and poster for Episode VIII.
See for yourself.
“Breathe. Just breathe.” – Luke Skywalker
If you remember, we last saw Finn under glass like Snow White, poor guy. I want him to wake up so badly. It’s just so eerie to see him laying there STILL. He’d better not die on us. Although, my daughter reminded me that this film picks up from the last one and he was just injured. Let’s hope she’s right.
From the trailer, Poe Dameron is running from something, with our favorite droid, BB-8. I’m looking forward to seeing more of him in the film. He’s a bad ass pilot. Oh, and BB-8 is a little smart hunk of technology. He brings so much humor. Lucasfilm always does a great job of bringing EVERY character to life.
We also all know Kylo Ren is just a ball of crazy and we don’t trust him, so I have no idea what to expect with him in this next film aside from bad things.
Um. ALL tears when I saw General Organa’s silhouette. For reals. I will be bringing a box of tissues (most likely Star Wars themed) to the theater.
And now, the cliffhanger.
OMG. What hell did Luke just say?! Did you catch it? At the very end. Go back and rewind. I will not be a putting that out into the universe.
I have so. many. questions.
Sound off, Magic Makers. What are your thoughts?!
May the Force be with us all!